Tentative modality

Rules

• Rule 1: Past tense = distance

  Using the past or past continuous for a present request makes it softer. The most useful frame is I was wondering if / whether + could / would.

  Pattern: I was wondering if … · I was hoping … · I wanted to ask … · Did you want …?

  Example: I was hoping you could read my poem.

  Example: Did you want some help with that?

• Rule 2: Polite requests with would

  Would you mind is followed by -ing (for your own action: if I + past simple). Would it be possible to …, I'd be grateful if … and I'd appreciate it if … are very formal and polite.

  Pattern: Would you mind + -ing? · Would you mind if I + past? · I'd appreciate it if you could …

  Example: Would you mind closing the door?

  Example: I'd appreciate it if you could call me back.

• Rule 3: Soft opinions and suggestions

  Instead of stating an opinion directly, use I'd say / I'd imagine / I'd have thought. For suggestions, Might I suggest…?, You might want to … and It might be worth + -ing are polite options.

  Pattern: I'd have thought + clause · You might want to + verb · It might be worth + -ing

  Example: I'd have thought the park was closer.

  Example: You might want to save your work first.

• Rule 4: I'd rather you + past, and indirect questions

  To ask politely for someone else to do (or not do) something, use I'd rather you + past simple (with present/future meaning!). In indirect questions (Could you tell me …) use statement word order.

  Pattern: I'd rather you + past simple · Could you tell me where + subject + verb

  Example: I'd rather you didn't tell anyone.

  Example: Could you tell me where the station is?

Common mistakes

• Would you mind to open the door? → Would you mind opening the door?

  mind always takes -ing.

• I was wondering that you could help. → I was wondering if you could help.

  wonder introduces a question → if / whether.

• Could you tell me where is the bank? → Could you tell me where the bank is?

  Indirect questions use statement order.